


Help!

by RKaye



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: College AU, Cute, F/F, Human AU, Human gems, Maybe - Freeform, Missed Connection, Pearl and amethyst are married, Popsicles, Swearing, This is cancelled, a lot of swearing, lapidot - Freeform, lapis is pearl's sister, mentioned Homophobia, my life is in shambles, pearlmethst, strangers don't let strangers buy banana popsicles
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-09
Updated: 2017-08-17
Packaged: 2018-10-01 14:10:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10191692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RKaye/pseuds/RKaye
Summary: “I passed this aisle, like, three times and you were just staring at the popsicles so I thought I would come make sure you were okay!"Lapis' life is falling apart. Things are changing and college isn't what she thought it would be. She needs help. Popsicles can only do so much, though.This is cancelled :^(





	1. Help!

Lapis’ life was falling apart.

Well, actually, with a little planning and some self control, she would probably be okay.

That being said, her life was falling apart.

“Hey, do we have any popsicles?” Lapis asked, arm flung over her eyes to protect them from the light.

“Lapis, you're literally laying in the kitchen floor. Get up and look,” one of her roommates said from the living room. She whined. A loud sigh came down the hall.

“No, there aren't anymore popsicles,” her other roommate, the owner of the loud sigh, said from the makeshift office in the spare room. “You ate the last one yesterday and complained about the flavor and that it was too cold for popsicles.”

“Nonsense, it's never too cold for popsicles, that must have been Amethyst,” Lapis yelled back. Another sigh from down the hall.

“Yeah, cause I complain soooo much,” Amethyst snorted. Lapis crawled like a caterpillar across the kitchen tiles into the living room, where Amethyst was playing some game with her friends, swearing into her headset.

“Will you take me to get popsicles?” Lapis asked her, laying her head in the gamer’s lap. 

“Sorry, Lap, super busy. See if Pearl can,” Amethyst said. Lapis laughed. 

“Ha! Yeah, right. Your wife is such a wiener!” Lapis yelled, over enunciating ‘wiener’.

“Calling me a wiener isn't going to get you popsicles!” Pearl called back. Lapis groaned, sitting up.

“I'm sorry I called your wife a wiener,” Lapis said, patting Amethyst’s leg. “Can I borrow your car to go get popsicles?”

“Yeah, man. No probs. Can you bring me back a Coke, money in the ashtray, please, thanks, GODDAMMIT GARNET!”

Lapis took Amethyst's keys off of the table as she walked to the door. 

“Not locking the door!” she yelled as the door closed behind her. She walked down the two flights of stairs from their apartment, thinking about how different her life was since she started college in August.

She had a regular childhood. Nothing too awful. She had made good grades in high school. A’s and B’s, mostly A’s. 

College destroyed her. It was too much. She thought she had it in the bag. December came with holidays and slacking and final grades for the semester. She made two D’s. It was over for her. Her scholarship disappeared.

Now she didn't know what she wanted to do with her life.

But right now, she wanted popsicles. And she was going to get them.

“Hmm, tropical, berry blast, or a giant fucking bag of just banana?” Lapis asked herself aloud in the freezer aisle. It was 10:30 on a Tuesday night. The store was completely empty except for the workers stocking shelves with expressionless faces.

“I'm pretty fond of the berry blast myself, but the banana does sound like fun,” a voice said beside her, making her jump.

“Jesus shit!” Lapis shouted, barely covering her mouth enough to muffle her scream. The voice beside her belonged to a short blonde girl in flannel pajama pants and an X-Files t-shirt, who was doubled over laughing.

“I'm so, so sorry! I passed this aisle, like, three times and you were just staring at the popsicles so I thought I would come make sure you were okay! I didn't mean to scare you,” the small girl wiped a tear from her eye. 

“No, I'm fine, just sorting out my life and popsicle priorities, but I suppose neither of those matter if I die of fright in a 24 hour Walgreens,” Lapis joked, opening the freezer and grabbing the bag of berry blast pops. “Why do they even sell a bag of just banana popsicles? Who is that for?”

“Some really weird kid’s birthday party, except nobody but at the party eats them but him,” the girl said, shifting the few items she held in her arms.

“That's very specific. Are you that kid?” Lapis shot back.

The girl laughed.

“No, no, that kid is my brother. Well, I gotta go. I'm really sorry I scared you. Glad you're okay. Have a good night,” the girl said quickly, and hauled off before Lapis could say anything else.

“She was cute,” Lapis said to herself quietly, walking toward the checkout with her popsicles, grabbing a bottle of soda for Amethyst on the way. 

She paid for her popsicles and soda and headed home, silently cursing herself for not getting the girl’s name.

“Have fun?” Pearl asked from the couch as Lapis slammed the door and locked it. 

“Yah, so much. The kid at Walgreens asked about you again,” Lapis said, flopping down across her lap, bag of popsicles resting on her stomach. “He wanted your number again.”

“What did you tell him?” 

“That my sister was a huge lesbian that just got married.”

Pearl hit her.

“You did not!”

“No, he didn't ask about you.”

“You're the worst, Lapis.”

“Yeah, but you love me,” Lapis said, opening a popsicle. 

“Of course I do,” Pearl said, taking the popsicle from her hand and licking it.

Lapis leaped up from the couch, dramatically clutching her chest. 

“Oh, how you wound me! My own flesh and blood!” She fell to the other couch, splaying her feet out on the coffee table. 

“Such a drama queen,” Amethyst said from the floor in front of the television. Lapis sat up and grabbed the bag with the Coke in it. 

“Hope Pepsi’s okay,” she said as she put the bottle in Amethyst's lap. 

“Aw, thanks, Lap,” Amethyst said, eyes and hands not moving from her game.

“Did you hear from anyone about the spare room today?” Lapis asked Pearl, who was watching Amethyst's game intently.

“No, I really wish that Garnet would have given us more of a heads up about moving out. She did offer to pay her part of next month's rent, though, so we’re good through January, at least.”

Amethyst and Pearl had both just graduated college, and neither had found a job yet. This, paired with Garnet having to move back home rather suddenly, added a little bit more stress to everyone.

“We'll work it out, Pearly,” Lapis said.

“I know. And you don't need to worry about it Lapis. I know you're going through some things right now.” Pearl tossed her a popsicle. Lapis opened it eagerly. Her thoughts drifted to the girl who recommended them to her.

“Hey, do you know a short, blonde girl, maybe my age? She's, like, really short. Like, maybe five foot nothing short. Short spiky-ish hair?” Lapis asked. Pearl shook her head.

“No, I don't think so. Why?”

“She scared the fuck out of me at Walgreens,” Lapis said, telling Pearl the story of the freezer section shit show.

Pearl laughed. Amethyst swore at her game, yanking her headset off.

“I died, what are you guys laughing about?” 

“Lapis had a heart attack getting popsicles,” Pearl said, relating the story to her wife. Amethyst laughed, spewing soda out of her nose.

“Was she cute?” Amethyst asked as she cleaned up nose soda. Lapis turned red. “What's her name?”

“Idunno,” Lapis muttered.

“What?” Pearl asked.

“I don't know,” Lapis clarified, blushing more. “She scared me! I didn't get her name.”

Pearl and Amethyst conferenced about if they or anyone of their friends knew the Walgreens mystery girl.

“Alright, I'm going to bed,” Lapis said after a while, picking up the popsicles and depositing them in the freezer on her way to bed. She undressed and slid under her blankets, putting her phone onto charge. Another message from her mother.

“Ugh,” she sighed, sending a message back, dodging the question: when are you coming home?

She watched a few YouTube videos of some idiots playing a Sonic game before falling asleep, the mystery girl’s laugh echoing into her dreams.


	2. The Night Before

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Lapis, it's like, 6 o’clock, dude. The sun isn't even up and you're having an existential crisis."
> 
> “I made a shit ton of pancakes. You might think I mean a lot of pancakes, but I mean it. A shit ton. Please eat pancakes.”
> 
>  
> 
> Lapis tries to control her life. Kinda.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A CHAPTER!?!?? Unheard of. It's a little long, because I feel bad. Also, it's a little rambly, and there are some feels in there toward the end. Enjoy! Or don't, I don't know your life.

“I just feel so empty,” Lapis said, laying down at her sister’s feet. Pearl sat up, groaning.

“Lapis, it's like, 6 o’clock, dude. The sun isn't even up and you're having an existential crisis,” Amethyst said from the other side of the bed, pulling her pillow up to cover her face. 

“You probably feel empty because you haven't eaten or slept in two days, Lapis,” Pearl said, rubbing her eyes. “All you've done is draw and be sad.”

Lapis sighed, rolling off the end of the bed. She hit the floor with a loud groan.

“Why won't you help meeeee?” she whined. She stood up and walked to the door, pausing before exiting. “I made a shit ton of pancakes. You might think I mean a lot of pancakes, but I mean it. A shit ton. Please eat pancakes.”

“Is that what the smoke detector kept going off for?” Amethyst mumbled from under her pillow.

“Yes, but they're not all burnt.”

Lapis finally decided to leave her sister and sister-in-law alone. She made herself a mountain of pancakes and sat down at the kitchen table before carefully tearing each sort of round pancake into twelve bite size pieces, then drowned them in maple syrup and attacked them with her fork. She was about three pancakes in when Amethyst joined her, clad in shorts and a wrinkled button down.

“I see you still eat pancakes like a starving four year old,” Amethyst said as she sat down with her own pile of pancakes.

“It's how I learned to eat them,” Lapis shrugged, going back to eating her pancake pieces. The pair sat in silence; the clatter of forks and one knife were the only sounds in the apartment. 

“Wanna go to the card shop with me?” Amethyst asked, eating the last bite of her pancakes.

The card shop wasn't really so much of a card shop as a game store. They sold cards, yes, any type really (think Yu-Gi-Oh and Magic the Gathering), but they also sold comics, video games, board games, etc.

Lapis had a standing answer when asked to go to the card shop.

“Uh, no,” she said, spearing the last few bites of soggy pancake with her fork.

“Pleeeeease?” Amethyst begged. Lapis shook her head. “I'll buy you something.”

“I feel weird at the card shop! People stare at me…” Lapis stood up to put her plate in the sink. Amethyst followed her, determined to make her change her mind.

“People don't stare at you! They're too busy fighting over how much their cards are worth and whose turn it is to bring the Mountain Dew to D&D night! Pleeeeeeeeeeease?”

“Fine. But you owe me.”

“Haha! I owe you nothing. You live in my apartment.”

“You right.”

* * *

“Can I get you anything else?” the guy working the counter at the card shop passed Amethyst her bag, eyeing Lapis, who was fiddling with some Pokémon figurines. He cleared his throat, and Lapis jumped a little, jerking her hands away and shoving them into her pockets.

“No thanks, Ronaldo, my man, P’ll kill me if I spend any more money,” Amethyst said, visibly excited about what was in the bag. Lapis shuffled beside her as they walked away from the counter.

“Can we go home now?” she asked quietly. Amethyst sighed.

“Being out is good for you, Lap. You need to meet people,” Amethyst said, throwing and arm up around her shoulders. 

“Pfff, I know enough people,” she mumbled. Just ahead of them, the door swung open, and a familiar short blonde strode in, nose buried in her phone.

Lapis yelped rather loudly and yanked Amethyst off into a row of bookshelves lined with comics.

“What! Jeezy petes, Lapis!” Amethyst said in a goofy accent.

“Shh!” Lapis covered her friend's mouth, cautiously leaning out of the aisle.

“What's wrong?”

“You remember that girl that scared me while I was staring at popsicles in that Walgreens, like, two weeks ago?”

“Yeah?”

“She just walked in.”

“NO FUCKIN SHIT!” Amethyst poked her head around the corner, scanning the shop for newcomers. “No way.”

“What?”

“She's short, blonde spiky hair, looks like she literally just woke up? Complete nerd?”

“... Yeah?”

“Holy shit,” Amethyst breathed deeply. Lapis gripped her wrist tightly.

“What?”

“I frickin’ know her, Lap,” Amethyst laughed. “We were roommates when I lived in the dorms. She's on my team.”

“You mean the night I went to get popsicles you played that dumb game with her?” 

“Yeah. She said she ran out to get some allergy medicine and met a cute girl! I didn't know it was you, loser!”

Lapis poked her head back around the bookcase, squinting at the girl, who was looking at the Pokémon figurines.

“She thinks I'm cute?”

The girl turned her head to talk to Ronaldo at the counter, but Lapis’ head apparently caught her attention. She turned completely, a smile spreading on her face.

“Shit! We have to go!” Lapis grabbed Amethyst’s wrist, pulling her out of the store into the parking lot.

“Don't you want to meet her? I can introduce you!”

“No!” Lapis unlocked the car doors, not waiting for Amethyst to buckle up before she started the engine and peeled out of the parking lot. 

“Chill the fuck out, Lazuli! You don't have to meet Peridot!”

* * *

“You're back early,” Pearl said as the pair walked into the living room. Amethyst collapsed onto the couch, head falling into Pearl’s lap.

“Yeah, thanks to your sister,” Amethyst griped. “Then she nearly killed me trying to get away from Peridot!”

“You ran into Peridot? How is she?”

“No idea, babe, cause Lapis flipped out and we left immediately and almost died in the car.”

“What!” Pearl screeched. “You know to be careful when operating a motor vehicle, Lapis Lazuli!”

Lapis slunk around the corner, slowly slumping to the floor.

“I'm sorry, Mom,” she said, face down in the carpet.

“What did any of this have to do with Peridot?” Pearl asked, settling back into the couch.

“Oh! She's the scary popsicle girl!” Amethyst laughed. Pearl covered her mouth.

“Really? Peridot scared someone?” Pearl giggled. 

“And she saw Lapis spying on her, so Lapis freaked out and got the duck outta fodge,” Amethyst said. Lapis groaned from the floor as her roommates laughed at her misfortune.

“Hardy-har-har,” she deadpanned as she stood up, dusting the front of her shirt off. “I'm going to bed.”

“It’s 9:30 in the morning, Lapis.”

“I'm going to bed.”

She shuffled into her bedroom, collapsing on her bed.

I can't even look at a girl without fucking it up, she thought as she wrapped herself up in the blanket. Worst. Lesbian. Ever.

She sadly turned YouTube on, glad to listen to something other than her own thoughts.

Her bedroom door creaked open, and Pearl came in, sitting beside her.

“Hey,” she said, putting a hand on Lapis’ head.

“Hey,” Lapis grumbled. Pearl sighed.

“What's wrong, Lapis?”

“How did you do it, Pearl?”

“Do what?”

“Talk to girls…” Pearl laughed. “What!”

“Lapis, I,” pause for laughter “I never talked to girls!”

“But, Rose and Amethyst…”

“Both talked to me.”

“But…”

“Lapis, is that really the problem?”

“I'm just…”

“Is it Mom?”

Silence.

“I thought so. Look, Lapis. It isn't your fault. We are who we are, and if she can't handle having a gay daughter, then she doesn't deserve to have a daughter. I know you're worried about telling her, especially since I've been married for a year and she hasn't talked to me since, but you don't have to. You don't have to tell her if you don't want to. And it isn't your fault if she gets mad. You are who you are, and you are perfect.”

More silence. Then…

“I just want to figure everything out,” Lapis sobbed, rolling over into her sister’s open arms. “You have everything figured out.”

“Oh, Lapis,” Pearl sighed, wiping the tears from her sister's eyes. “I don't have anything figured out. Amethyst and I are just rolling with the punches.”

“Promise?”

“Cross my heart. Also, I think that you should talk to Peridot. She's very nice.”

“Ugh, Pearl! Please let me have my crisis in peace.”

“Okay,” Pearl conceded and lay in bed with her sister. Amethyst poked her head in the room.

“Got any room for a poor, lonely Amethyst?” Lapis nodded and Amethyst flopped onto the bed. 

“I love you guys.”

“We love you, too, Lap.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for those feels. It's around Christmas time in this fic, and I started thinking about my last Christmas, and.... this happened. Also, sorry if it was shitty. Have a nice day/night!


	3. You've Got to Hide Your Love Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Hi, I saw you from across the room and I just really wanted to talk to you and apologize for running from you at the card shop cause I literally haven't been able to stop thinking about you._ No! That was definitely venturing into stalker-y.
> 
>  
> 
> Lapis hates Christmas and hates parties even more. Will a certain blonde nerd show up?
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> You know she does.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :^)
> 
> im exhausted 
> 
> :^)
> 
> Lapis doesn't really *hate* Christmas, she just... isn't excited about it.

“I hate Christmas,” Lapis mumbled as Pearl excitedly set up the camera. The three of them were decked out in Christmas clothes. Amethyst and Pearl had exchanged ugly Christmas sweaters (Amethyst's was a patchwork of neon gingerbread men; Pearl’s was of a T-Rex in a Santa hat breathing fire, with “Merry Christmas” emblazoned in all caps across the top and bottom), and had picked one out for Lapis (“Meowy Christmas”). Each of them had a Santa hat perched on top of their heads.

“Look,” Amethyst quietly said to her, “just the one party, Lap. P’s gonna miss you when you go home.”

Lapis sighed. She really didn't want to go home.

“Alright! Who's ready for a picture?” Pearl clapped excitedly. Lapis smiled at her.

“Let's get it over with before your friends show up.”

They took several pictures in various poses, ending with one of them all together, laughing.

“Come help me set up the last of the decorations, Amethyst,” Pearl said after putting the camera to the side. Amethyst wiggled her eyebrows at Lapis.

“Gross, Ame. That's my sister,” Lapis protested, hitting her playfully. Amethyst left to help Pearl, and Lapis found herself rearranging the plates and cups and bottles of alcohol, thinking about taking one or two to stash in her bedroom. She was interrupted, however, by a loud crash, followed by a familiar “AMETHYST!”

Lapis rounded the corner into the kitchen and found Pearl and Amethyst engaged in an extremely passionate kiss, with the step ladder that Pearl had been using lying forgotten on the floor.

Lapis cleared her throat.

“Gross.”

Pearl jumped away, flushing.

“We, ah, just, um… I fell.”

“Mistletoe, Lap,” Amethyst said, grinning, pointing above their heads. “Watch out, shit’s everywhere.”

“Gross,” Lapis confirmed. “Do you need me to do anything else, Pearl?”

“Could you, uh, check the hall bathroom and make sure it looks decent? Oh, and that Mimi and Howdy have enough water and food. Maybe that'll keep them out of everything…”

Lapis ducked her head into the bathroom on her way to Pearl and Amethyst's room. 

“Eh, good enough.” Hopefully no one would open the linen closet, which Lapis and Amethyst had stuffed with things that didn't have a home.

“Howdy! Mimi!” Lapis called the cats softly. Howdy came running at her voice. “Hey, buddy!” She pet the loving little fluff ball. “Where's the bitch?” As if she were offended, Mimi came out from under the bed, sniffing the air. Lapis stood and picked up their little water bowl and stepped into the adjoining bathroom to fill it.

“There's gonna be lots of people here soon,” she said, stroking Mimi as she sat in the floor next to the water dish. “We’re not gonna force you to stay in here, ‘cause it's your house, too. But if you want to, I understand that. I don't want to be around a bunch of people, either.”

“Lapis! Garnet's here!” Pearl called from across the apartment.

“That's me,” Lapis said, standing up. She pet Mimi one last time and walked to the living room to see Garnet, absolutely covered in Christmas lights. 

“‘M gonna win,” she said, crossing her arms. Lapis had forgotten about the sweater contest. She couldn't help but laugh as Garnet flicked a switch on her shades and little lights all around them started flickering.

“I dunno, G, Bismuth said she was really gonna kick it up this year,” Amethyst said. Garnet scoffed.

“I'll bet you five dollars she wears that sweater with the mirror attached to it.”

“You're on, G.” They shook hands.

“You're gonna lose money you don't even have, Amethyst,” Lapis said, sitting down on the couch.

“I have faith that Bismuth finally realized that sweater was only funny the first two years she wore it,” Amethyst said, taking a bottle out of a tub of ice near the table of food Pearl had set up. “You want a beer, G?”

“I'm good, Ame. Tryin’ no’ to pass out this year.”

“Throw me one?” Lapis said hopefully.

“Sure, Lap,” Amethyst said, picking another bottle out before tossing it to Lapis on the couch.

Lapis caught it and looked at the label. A Sprite™.

“Wow, thanks,” Lapis said sarcastically, twisting the top. 

“You're nineteen, Lapis. Pearl would actually kill me,” Amethyst said, responsible for once. Lapis shrugged.

“How old were you?”

“That's not important.”

Garnet chuckled. The doorbell buzzed. Amethyst smiled.

“Let the party begin!”

* * *

“You cost me five whole dollars, B,” Amethyst complained loudly as she fished five crumpled ones out of her pocket and thrust them into Garnet’s open hand.

“Sorry, Ame, it's the ugliest sweater I could find,” Bismuth clapped Lapis on the shoulder, laughing at her own joke. “Get it, Lap? Because it's whoever's lookin’ atcha!” 

Lapis laughed politely and slunk away into the small crowd of her sister's friends. She saw a few familiar people, like Lars and Sadie, who had become trapped under the mistletoe because they both refused to kiss each other and the people around them wouldn't let them go. It seemed like Jasper, Amethyst's annoying cousin, was also there, impressing a group with her rugby stories.

Jasper had pissed Lapis off since high school. She was just so full of herself. It didn't help that Jasper had been her first “girlfriend”.

“Lapis!” Jasper called, breaking away from the group, making her way toward Lapis. “Haven't seen you in forever, babe. You look good.”

“Not your babe,” Lapis groaned, turning to face her. “How've you been, Jasper?”

“Oh, you know, pretty good…” Lapis zoned out a little as Jasper recounted her last few months of rugby and kickboxing tournaments. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a blonde blur near the edge of the party, kneeled down.

“And the ref was absolute shit, because he…” Jasper droned on, but Lapis cut her off, heart beginning to race as she watched Peridot in her peripheral vision.

“Excuse me for one sec, Jasper. I'll be right back,” Lapis said, not waiting for an answer as she headed toward Peridot.

As she made her way to Peridot through the crowded room, she tried to brainstorm what to say.

_Come here often?_ Too cliché, she decided.

_What's happening?_ That was stupid.

_Hi, I saw you from across the room and I just really wanted to talk to you and apologize for running from you at the card shop cause I literally haven't been able to stop thinking about you._ No! That was definitely venturing into stalker-y.

Suddenly, she was standing in front of Peridot, who looked up at her.

“Hi, I'm Lapis.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't really know why Jasper showed up. I'm gonna try to work her in, though, because I like Jasper a lot.
> 
> Or not, depending. :^) have a good one!


	4. Another Girl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas party part 2!
> 
> Lapis, get this, talks to Peridot.   
> Karaoke ensues.  
> Jasper's back!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You would not believe what I have been through.
> 
> Enjoy :^)

_Hi, I saw you from across the room and I just really wanted to talk to you and apologize for running from you at the card shop cause I literally haven't been able to stop thinking about you._ No! That was definitely venturing into stalker-y.

Suddenly, she was standing in front of Peridot, who looked up at her.

“Hi, I'm Lapis.”

“Oh. Hey. What's your cat’s name?” Peridot asked. Howdy was rubbing against her legs, purring happily.

“Oh, that's Howdy,” Lapis said, kneeling down next to Peridot and rubbing Howdy’s ear.

“Oh! That's such a cute name,” Peridot said, then added, “I'm Peridot, by the way. I'm guessing Amethyst already told you, though, with your hasty getaway from the card shop and all.”

Lapis blushed in embarrassment.

“Yeah, sorry about that,” she said, petting Howdy, who had climbed into her lap for more attention.

“It's cool,” Peridot said, and then sneezed.

“Bless you,” Lapis said. “Are you okay?”

“Wow, thanks,” Peridot said, rubbing her nose. “Yeah, I'm just allergic to cats.”

“Then what are you doing petting cats?” Lapis asked, barely concealing a laugh. 

“They're cute,” Peridot said, standing up. Lapis put Howdy down and stood beside her.

“So, you're friends with Amethyst and my sister,” Lapis said.

“Yeah, Amethyst was my roommate when I was a freshman. They're really gross, by the way. Your sister and her,” Peridot said.

“Ugh, believe me, I know,” Lapis groaned. 

“Oh, right, you live here, don't you?” Peridot asked. Lapis nodded. “What year of school are you in?” 

“I'm a freshman. Decided living on campus would suck ass,” Lapis said. Peridot laughed. 

“You're right. It is fun sometimes, though I think that was just Amethyst dragging me around.”

“What year are you in?”

“I'm in my third year, but I'm technically only a sophomore because my advisor screwed me over and quit. So, I've got another couple of years to go.”

“What’re you majoring in?”

“Computer engineering/programming. You?”

Lapis shrugged. Peridot smiled.

“You've got plenty of time.”

They chatted for a few more minutes before Peridot asked where the bathroom was and Lapis directed her to it. Amethyst found her way over to where Lapis was standing, waiting on Peridot to return.

“So, you and Peri hittin’ it off?” Amethyst asked, gesturing towards Lapis with the neck of her beer bottle.

“I mean, I guess. We've been talking, she seems nice,” Lapis shrugged, trying to seem like she didn't like Peridot. A lot.

“Maybe you two could get caught under the mistletoe,” Amethyst suggested, giving Lapis a sly smile. Lapis’ face felt extremely warm. 

“No, no, no,” she said. “Definitely not, Ame. I don't even really know her.”

“Do you need to?”

“Yes!”

“Tha’s cool. You should come watch me an Garnet do karaoke, then ,” Amethyst begged. “Pleeeeeeeeeease?”

Lapis followed her and watched as Garnet and Amethyst performed a drunken rendition of “Baby, It’s Cold Outside”. She watched several other performances and clapped for each of them. She was eventually dragged onto the makeshift stage, despite her struggle against Bismuth, who only laughed and picked her up. She grabbed Pearl by her Santa hat, pulling it off. Pearl laughed at her.

“Why won't you help me?” Lapis fake cried. Pearl shrugged at her. Bismuth sat her down and put a microphone in her hand. 

“We’re doing Rent, Lap.”

“Ugh, what song?” She knew what song.

“‘Take Me or Leave Me’, I need you to be my Joanne.” She knew she was Joanne.

“Why do I always have to be Joanne? What if I want to be Maureen?”

Bismuth patted her head.

“One day, but not today, Lap. Ready?”

“Yeah.”

Music began playing. Bismuth started singing and dancing around Lapis.

Lapis actually enjoyed singing with Bismuth. Their voices sounded nice together, and Bismuth had good taste in music (for the most part). They had sang this song many times and had a kind of choreography for it. They stage-fought, and it was fun.

People clapped for them as they dramatically dropped their mics and stormed off the “stage”. 

“Oomf,” Lapis ran into a wall as she “stormed” off. She looked up, confused because there wasn't normally a wall right there. Jasper smiled down at her. “Jesus.”

“We have to stop running into each other, or you need to stop running into me, rather,” Jasper shot her a toothy grin.

“Hey, Jasper. Enjoying yourself?” Lapis asked, rubbing her temples.

“Oh, yeah! Amethyst knows how to throw a party!” Jasper said. She took a sip of her drink. Lapis nodded.

“Yeah, she really does.”

“So, Lapis, are you seeing anyone?”

Oh my God, Lapis thought.

“Uh, no, not right now.”

“That's cool. What are you doing tomorrow? Maybe we could hang out, you know? Catch up,” Jasper suggested.

“I have to leave tomorrow. Going back home,” Lapis said, trying to look apologetic. “Sorry.”

“It's okay, babe. Maybe some other time?” Jasper winked at her, then drained her cup. “Be back in a minute.”

Lapis watched her walk towards the kitchen, then bolted away down the hallway. She stopped when a hand grabbed onto her arm. She turned around to see Garnet, shaking her head, the fairy lights on her sweater and hair going crazy.

“Oh, hey Garnet,” Lapis said.

“Where you goin’?” Garnet asked. 

“Oh, you know, just hiding from people while they're distracted,” Lapis shrugged. Garnet grinned a little.

“Jasper getcha’?” 

Lapis nodded.

“Hmm, I figured she'd be followin’ her girl around,” Garnet said, sort of dismissively.

“She's got a girlfriend?” Lapis asked, unbelieving. “She literally just asked me out!”

“What'd you say?” Garnet asked, knowingly.

“I said no!” Garnet laughed at her.

“Well, I think I saw them in the kitchen, if you wanna see her girlfriend,” Garnet said, adding “Be careful, though. You might see something you wish you hadn't.”

“Thanks, Garnet,” Lapis said before turning around and heading for the kitchen, intent on letting Jasper’s girlfriend know what a flirt Jasper was.

“Lap!” Lapis turned to see Amethyst heading toward her. “I saw Peridot over by the kitchen if you want to talk to her again!” Amethyst slurred, and then winked.

Lapis continued toward the kitchen, now thinking of nothing but talking to Peridot more. She was actually a little excited.

She wasn't prepared for what she saw.

There, in the doorway of the kitchen, under the mistletoe, stood Jasper and Peridot, locked in a heated embrace, sucking face.

Lapis paled. She turned on her heel and headed to her bedroom.

“Lapis, where you going?”

“Lap, what's wrong?”

“Lazuli!”

“Merry Christmas!” she called back to everyone who yelled at her. She went into her room, took off her sweater and hat, and collapsed on her bed. She rolled into a blanket burrito and drown in her thoughts.

“Jasper and Peridot?!”


	5. I Need You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Christmas Dinner was always… an affair._
> 
> _First thing about it that bothered Lapis was that everyone called it a Dinner, but it was really a lunch._
> 
> _Second thing was that her whole family was there. Everyone._
> 
> _Third was that everyone dressed up._
> 
> _It didn't make sense to her._
> 
> * * *
> 
> Christmas Dinner with the good ole extended family. What fun.

****

“Smile!” The camera flashed before Lapis had a chance to react. She was sitting stiffly in very itchy clothes, along with her two little sisters, who were in equally itchy clothes. It was a family tradition, the itchy clothes.

“Perfect!” Her mother crooned. Lapis doubted it. Her sisters, Melyn and Mavi also looked like they doubted it. “Oh, it's so nice to see all of you together!”

 _Not all of us_ , Lapis thought.

“Oh, let's take one more!”

 _I knew it_.

The camera flashed again, but Lapis was ready. She put on her best smile. She was tired of taking fake pictures for her mom to put online. She was ready to watch her sisters open the presents she got them.

“Mommy, can we please be done?” Melyn asked, pulling the collar of her dress away.

“Please?” Mavi chimed in, mirroring her twin.

Lapis stayed quiet, silently suffering her own itchy dress.

“Oh, alright. Go on and open a present,” their mother said, sighing. “But only one! I mean it! And don't mess up your clothes! We have to leave for dinner soon!”

Lapis groaned. Internally, of course.

She quickly slunk out of the room while her mother was occupied with putting her camera and equipment away. She watched her sisters trying to decide which gifts they were going to open. Melyn picked the biggest one. Mavi weighed each one and shook them before picking a smallish one.

“You sure that's the one you want? You know how Mom is. No take backs. Only present until tonight,” Lapis said, sitting on the floor between them.

“Yes!” they said in unison, and tore into the paper. They looked at their presents and silently switched.

Melyn had unwrapped an easel. Mavi had unwrapped a 2DS. They liked the other’s more.

“Here. I got you guys something,” Lapis said after they had played with their presents. They turned excitedly.

“What is it?!” Mavi asked.

“You gotta open it,” Lapis said, handing them each a poorly wrapped box. They shook the boxes and the paper fell away. For Mavi, Lapis had gotten a set of nice oil pastels, and for Melyn, a copy of a Pokémon Ruby.

“Thank you, Lapis!” Melyn said, throwing her arms around Lapis’ neck. Mavi joined the hug.

“You're both very welcome,” Lapis said, and then whispered “Pearl wanted me to tell you that she loves you very much and misses you a lot.”

They both nodded.

“Girls! You're messing up your dresses!” Their mother had come into the room.

“Come on, Mom, they're eight,” Lapis sighed.

“They know how to not wrinkle a dress. Now, let's go! We don't want to be late!”

* * *

Christmas Dinner was always… an affair.

First thing about it that bothered Lapis was that everyone called it a Dinner, but it was really a lunch.

Second thing was that her whole family was there. Everyone.

Third was that everyone dressed up.

It didn't make sense to her.

She didn't have any cousins her age, so she sat by herself at the adult table and suffered all of the questions.

“Are you enjoying school?”

“What are you majoring in?”

“Met any boys?”

“Aren't you glad to be home?”

“Where are you living at? On campus?”

She missed Pearl. And Amethyst and Garnet and Bismuth.

She politely answered when she was spoken to and did little else. Eventually the aunts and uncles left her alone, turning their attentions to her father, who was telling a very _interesting_ story about a case he had recently closed. Lapis almost fell asleep.

Her father, whom she loved dearly, was very boring. He was a divorce lawyer, but he spoke about his job like he put murders and serial killers away.

As he recounted the tale of a very long and lucrative custody battle over a cactus (“Seriously! He wanted shared custody over a plant!”), Lapis played in her mashed potatoes and let her mind wander.

 _I wonder what Pearl and Amethyst are doing,_ she thought. She knew what they were doing, though. Amethyst didn't really have any close family, so they were spending the holidays with Garnet and her moms. They were probably having a ball. And she was stuck here, in a scratchy dress at a family event where she only barely managed to tolerate most of the people around her.

At least the food was decent.

Not that she was really eating much.

As she made the fourth tower in her mashed potato and green bean castle, her mother cleared her throat.

“Stop playing with your food,” she said quietly, not wanting to draw any attention. Lapis sat her fork down after mashing her castle. She took the napkin from her lap and placed it over her plate.

She sat quietly for a while, half listening to her relatives, waiting for everyone to finish so she could watch her cousins and sisters open the presents from their grandfather.

Finally, everyone was done and dishes were cleared away. Lapis sat on a couch beside her sisters as one of her aunts handed the kids’ presents out. Lapis sat and watched, a little sadly. This was the first year she didn't have a present. But, she was an “adult”, so no present. Instead, she watched her cousins and sisters open their presents, ranging from RC cars to dolls to books. Her sisters got the same thing, a doll that looked like them. She saw them look at each other and frown a little. She felt a kind of bad for them.

 _Being twins must suck sometimes_ , she thought. As the kids played with their toys, she helped her aunts clean up the wrapping paper. She took the garbage bag of wrapping paper into the kitchen, intending to take the trash out, but she was stopped by her grandfather, who took the bag from her.

“Come with me, Laps,” he said, motioning to the door. They walked outside to the garbage can.

“Here,” he said, handing her an envelope and a small, wrapped box.

“Pops, you shouldn't have. I'm too old,” Lapis started to protest.

“Don't tell be about too old, young lady. Open it.”

Lapis unwrapped the box, which turned out to be a ring box. She opened it slowly, surprised at what was inside.

“Your grandma would've wanted you to have it, Lapis. She loved all you kids, but you were somethin’ special to her. I didn't know if it'd fit, so there's a chain in there, too, if you want to put it on there,” her grandpa rambled. She hugged him, kissing his cheek, teary-eyed.

“Thank you, Pop,” she said, looking at the ring. It was too big for her ring finger, so she slid it onto her left index finger. It was a little loose.

“Well,” he grumbled, shuffling his feet, obviously a little uncomfortable. He was a quiet man. “Open the other one.”

The envelope had five one hundred dollar bills inside. Lapis choked.

“I can't take this, Pop.”

“Why not?”

“It's too much!”

“Well, it's not exactly all for you,” he said. “I know that your sister is going through a lot with your mother and all, and I haven't seen her in a long time. Give half of it to her and her girlfriend for me.”

Lapis was pleasantly surprised.

“Actually, they got married.”

Pop didn't look to surprised, but Lapis saw the little smile he had.

“Tell ‘em I love ‘em,” he said as they headed back into the house. Lapis nodded. Pop went over to his recliner, where a few of Lapis’ younger cousins clambered into his lap to be read to. She found her purse and put the envelope and ring box in a zippered pocket. Then she sat close enough to her grandfather that she could listen to the story without arousing any attention.

She was ready to go home.

* * *

“Alright, open them,” Lapis said as she and her sisters sat in their pajamas on the floor, surrounded by presents. Her mother and father sat on the couch, watching as the three of them tore into bags and wrapping paper.

Lapis got new clothes, including a nice bomber jacket and a pair of boots. She also got a set of charcoal pencils and a metal puzzle of the Golden Gate Bridge.

She watched her parents open presents after she was done. She had gotten her mother a new laptop sleeve and her father a tie that said “ooooh snap,” when you pressed a button (he played with it for an hour before vowing to wear it to court).

They ate dinner in the living room and watched Christmas specials. Lapis felt a little lonely without Pearl.

“I love you, girls,” her father said as he went to bed. Her mom wasn't far behind.

“Bed time!” she said cheerfully. Her sisters groaned. Lapis would have normally argued, but she actually was tired, so she just rolled her eyes and said good night.

“I love you, Lapis,” her mother said as Lapis passed her. Lapis stopped and hugged her.

“Love you, too, Mom.”

* * *

Lapis lay in her bed, looking at her phone for the first time all day.

Four text messages, a missed call, and a voicemail.

The missed call and voicemail were from Pearl.

“ _Hey, Lapis! Merry Christmas! I wish I was with you… Just keep your chin up! I love you, and I'll see you soon! Tell Melyn and Mavi I miss them! Everybody says hi! Oh wait… Here's Amethyst! Amethyst, it's Lapis… No I'm leaving a voicemail… Oh, okay… She says to… No, Amethyst! I'm not saying that! No!” A long sigh. “Amethyst says that if anyone messes with you she'll… punch them in their stupid faces… Anyway, Merry Christmas! I'll see you at New Years!”_

Lapis giggled at the voicemail. She felt better after hearing it.

Two of the texts were just Garnet and Bismuth wishing a happy Christmas.

The other two, however, were from the same, unfamiliar number.

One was one of those stupid, emoji filled holiday chains.

She thought it was just a wrong number until she read the other message.

_Hey, sorry about the stupid chain._ _Thought it'd be a good icebreaker. Anyways, this is Peridot. From Walgreens, the card shop, and the party. In case you've met some other Peridot. Amethyst gave me your number. But, anyway, we should hang out sometime. I've just realized that this is a really long text, so I'm just going to stop here._

Lapis couldn't believe it. Peridot texted her. Peridot texted her. Peridot texted her. She couldn't stop reading the message over and over again.

Peridot wanted to hang out. With her.

Lapis felt her heart soar. It was turning out to be a pretty great Christmas.

Until she remembered.

“Peridot is dating Jasper.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry. I literally just wrote until I passed out, woke up, and posted this. Sorry.
> 
> I also fought my computer over formatting, so let me know if something's wrong. 
> 
> And as always, drop a suggestion/ request.


End file.
